So - there are only days to go... I have to admit - I am a little scared of the surgery itself but I am SO looking forward to NOT being pregnant! I just can't wait to meet this kid! The nursery should be done this evening - except for the trim (meaning handpainted border of alphabet and stars) - that's just going to have to wait. oh well... it was good in theory.
KidOne is nervous about me going in - he must be. He asked me the other day how I felt when my mom died. Threw me for a terrible loop. He's only five and he's asking me this. I know it's my own danged fault for explaining things to him - but I don't believe in lying to him. We tend to make things scientific and clinical when possible - if only becase he repeats everything to everyone.
I am really looking forward to bringing the baby home - this is one of those things I have wanted for so long. I am so glad that KidOne is not going to be an only child. He needs someone to play with that isn't mommy (not counting school friends).
I have a lot of worries right now though too. With KidOne - I showed no sign of post partum depression - my depression didn't come back until well after that and it was just my normal cycle. But I *know* I'm susceptible to it - given my history of depression. It scares me a little - but only so much. I know I don't have it in me to hurt my kids. Period. So, I guess I'm just worried about feeling that way - like that - so dark. I know how to deal with it but that doesn't mean I look forward to it.
~S
Posted by Shade53 at August 2, 2006 07:47 AM