Shade in Ink - A quest for a more natural life

venting

I've gotten a good way through the novel and I've hit a bit of a block... which sucks but it gives me a chance to pen some new shorts right? I have several hundred ideas for shorts in my head so any chance to get them on paper should be a good one right? I suppose it would be if not for my obscene problem with making up names! it shouldn't be this difficult! I'm working on already established worlds, rules, and cultures. I have been working with these planets for the last five years give or take. It shouldn't be that difficult - even if at the moment I have the attention span of a gnat - I should be able to at least get some fragments down on paper. I want to. Really badly but it just isn't working for me today. So - this is my writing for the day - everything else I've touched today sucks.

Why was it so easy to come up with the maraph and the dromin and the mettiks (all animals related to the Strange Angel worlds) but on Wyalat right now I have the rfm - really fast mammals and the lsm - large slow mammals... that sucks. And the names of the characters for the particular short I'm attempting to work on are literally - C, N, R, D, - using the first letters I want until I can figure out thier names later. names are usually so damned easy for me! It must be everything else just piling up on me. Whatever it is... It sucks.

~S

Current Work

I was in the middle of putting together my statistics for April - which won't be posted yet as there are still a few days left and I'm still hoping for a last minute acceptance... But, I figured out just how much work I've got to work on. I should see it as a good thing I suppose. Since I made the list, already I have worked one short enough to move it from draft to finished - now if I can just do that to the rest of them.

Poetry: 18 published, 68 finished, 107 in draft form (not included are those not yet typed up) (of the finished poems, 43 are currently under consideration)

Short Prose: 7 published, 14 finished, 126 in draft form (not included are those not yet typed up) (Of the finished short prose, 9 are currently under consideration) (Of the published short works - 1 is currently under consideration as a reprint).

Novels: 1 in final rewrites, 1 in second draft, 1 in first draft, 5 in outline and fragments.

It's nice to know I have stuff to work on while I'm taking it easy.

~S

Strange Angels Progress

Still working... getting there slowly... am happy with the progress though. I never realized how much needed fixed until I started this rewrite. In the end, I've scrapped the majority of the initial book. I'm loving it at the minute though - that's important. Certainly there are things that still need work - especially it seems with descriptions... I'm focused so much on the story that sometimes the atmosphere gets lost and has to be put in later - during the next cycle of revisions. I figure I'm two or three months away from needing a few beta readers. If anyone is interested - let me know. I'll need about 20 to get a good reading as to whether or not the book is any good. And no - none of it will be posted online (see my rant on self-pub'ing if you *must* know why)....

CHAPTERS

15 / 28 (53.6%)

WORD COUNT

41,049 / 95,000 (43.2%)

Not too bad ;)
~S

Of birthdays and Babies

So, 27 is not so different than 26 - at least on the first day. Except, this year I'm fatter ;) I suppose in my position that's a good thing - you're supposed to be fat when halfway through your pregnancy. Usually, I detest my birthday - just a day that reminds me too much of my mother - who's been coming up in conversations a lot lately. I don't know, maybe that's changing a bit cause of my kids. The one already here and the one on the way... If not for my birthday, they would not have birthdays - how can I hate a day that holds that much importance? I can't imagine the world without my kids - even the one who's not quite here yet. Maybe that makes me strange but, from the moment the double lines confirmed my pregnancies - they were real to me, wanted, loved - filling me with the kind of hope and wonder that I never thought I'd experience. And I can't begin to describe the moment I first felt each of them move - that first tiny flutter - the beating of tiny wings on the inside of my belly. A voiceless maestro conducting a masterpiece from within me. There has been nothing else in life I've ever experienced that feels like that - that holds that kind of weight. If not for my medical issues, the complications I've had, am having, could possibly have in the future, I think I would spend my whole life pregnant - I love it, even as much as I bitch about it. But, fact is, I'll count myself extremely lucky to have two healthy children - fingers crossed, prayers said, chants whispered, saints consulted... When I go in for this c-section, I'm getting snipped in the process. Maybe that makes this pregnancy all the more full of wonder for me, I'm enjoying it as much as I can, taking note of every change, every flutter, every bit of beauty and joy because this one will be the last one for me. Because I'm not so sure that my body can handle a third - even as much as I want it. I'll have two kids to think about - and I know what its like to lose a mom - I have no right to put myself in a position to do the same to them - at least, not on purpose. I started off venting about my birthday and wound up on kids... shows where my priorities are doesn't it? I'm hoping to get a few pics up sometime soon - of me fat and preggers... I'll only look like this for a little wee while longer so, I may as well take advantage of it. I've a great excuse not to be tiny and skinny.. ;)

~S

Why Write

The question was posed, I was tagged, whatever so, I am answering it....

I write because I must.

I have had stories circling through my head since I was a very small girl - always on to the next adventure in my head. As a girl, I read books - an uncountable number - and I knew that's what I wanted to do - I wanted to make other people see what was in my head. Besides - if Louisa May Alcott, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and about 17,000 other women writers could do it - and succeed at it - so could I. Even if I never put them on paper - my stories entertain me - as I drift off to sleep, I daydream my characters, my plots and twists.

I write because it's the only thing I am good at.

I've tried to be other things with no real success. So, I stick with what I know I can do.

I write because, if I didn't, everyone who ever told me I'd never make it as a writer would win. I can't allow that at all. I'm too competitive to allow that. I'm too stubborn to allow that. I spent half my life being told I was nothing and believing it and damned if I'll ever allow that again. So - they cannot win and I won't let them and, so long as I am trying, they are losing.

I write because it's the only thing I've ever wanted to do.

I could spend hours at the computer without pause. I could slip off into my own worlds and only come up to breath to eat - if not for my kids and husband who keep me grounded in real life beyond my own creations. It is the only thing that is not tedious. I enjoy it. I love it. It is me. It is in my blood, my soul, my heart. I write because I am Sarah Wagner. If I did not write, I would be someone else.

~S

Strange Angels Revisions

Chapter Four - 4/3/06 -4/4/06
Starting Count:2020
End count:2800
Difference:780
Why it's better: Better delineation of place. More introduction into Yehtlai's life - so she is not so much a stranger before she becomes nearly important.

Total Word Count: 9,601/90,000

Life and complications

Had our dr's appointment yesterday... overall - we're ok but, there may be a complication or two... Currently, he's too low, I have what's called a low-lying placenta - the 'best' form of placenta previa with a 90%chance that he'll shift upward and there will be no problems. So, I'm taking it easy for a month or so, we go back to the dr's on may 2nd for another ultrasound to check his position then. So - if you happen to think about it, say a little prayer for us. In all likelyhood, there will be nothing wrong in the end, the chances of this getting worse - very slim to none, the chances of this fixing itself - excellent but, the fact that there is this *something* is freaking me out a little bit. Makes me miss my mom even more - so much that I dreamed about her last night. It was almost too real - asking her questions that I always wanted to ask and all that. I'm glad that I had that dream though, it made me feel better.

But - that's it for now... hopefully I'll have great news in May.

~S

Revisions

Chapter Three: 4/2/06
Starting Count: 1505
End COunt: 2177
Difference: 672
Why it's better: better interacting with the Rousl, decent first explanation of Sencha's power and control and the Rousl's devotion. better emotion at the homecoming. more ambience throughout.

Total Word Count: 6,801/90,000

March Statistics

March Statistics

Sent 6 submissions out

Rejections
Absinthe Literary Review - poetry - 3/8/06
Mary - poetry - 3/28/06
Icon - poetry- 3/29/06
Narrative - nonfiction - 3/28/06

Dead markets
3/4/06 - Irish Fantasy Quarterly (as declared by duotrope) - Fiction

Acceptances:
None. Again. Such is life.