My "office" such as it is, is getting moved tomorrow to make way for the nursery so, I won't be online for perhaps a few days. This week was an allright week - overall... Got a lot done on Strange Angels which thrills me... it's ALMOST done... just a few more chapters. It's possible that I could be done before the baby gets here... if I get a few more good weeks in.
Anyway - I didn't make the goals I had for this week overall but I did exceed my goals for SA by a good bit...
Poetry: 7 poems revised (candles in the Sand, Memory’s Eyes, All I Once Was, On Sacred Ground, The Man I never Knew, Through your eyes, Suffocating)
Short Prose: Former Paintball Widow - in process, Beacon - rewritten, finished, & out for crits
Strange Angels: Chapter 18 - rewritten & finished. Chapter 19 - rewritten and finished. Chapter 20 - rewritten & finished. Chapter 21 - Rewritten & finished. Chapter 22 - in process.
Not bad
~S
Sent Out: 24 submissions
Rejections: 16
Withdrawals: 1 (took 2 years to decide on 2 poems... so I withdrew them)
Acceptances: 1 - in a "letters to my mother" type book - more details to follow later.
Other: - for the most part, the rejections I’m receiving are encouraging. Notes telling me that, while some particular piece is not there just yet - I AM on the right track. I AM getting there... I can only hope it is sooner than later and that I’ll be able to figure out the formula when I’m there... The formula being the when and how and why a particular piece is READY...
So - an eh kind of month but not terrible...
~S
The last time I posted solid stats for Strange Angels - I was only on Chapter 15 in my revisions... that was two months ago, april 24thish... I just finished the revision of Chapter 21. Actually, it was less a revision seeing as I believe every chapter but two between 15 and 21 were completely new. As I said, meat and skin now... not just bones ;) I'm feeling pretty good about it...
Hope I can keep this going...
~S
All pregnant women seem to go through a phase of nesting... I think I am too but it's not normal nesting. I'm not cleaning the house or readying the nursery - even if I have less than six weeks now to do it. What I am doing is writing. I'm working on Strange Angels. My main focus novel. During this series of revisions - I've realized just how much was lacking to the story. I had the bones - but they were bare. Now I have some of the skin and muscle to hold those bones together. I'm probably 3/5ths of the way through the story now and the difference is huge. It doesn't hurt that the first version of Strange Angels was completely wrong and I've stripped out well over half of it and now I'm getting on the right track. I can feel it. It's getting better every day. Once this rewrite is done, hopefully before the baby comes, I'll leave it out for crits with my group for a while and let it steep while I move on to my next project - Evolution of a Shadow. Then - when it's removed enough from my head - I'll go back and do another revision. Once that is done - I'll find a few beta readers and begin the query process to agents & publishers. I didn't make my goal of having it ready this year. I know it won't be. But - sometime next year I should be able to start the process of shopping SA. I won't make the goal I set in 1997 (which is why I was pushing so hard) but - it won't be because I didn't try it will be because I did try but did not meet my own quality standards.
~S
I'm having wicked cravings for blue bubblegum ice cream... unfortunately - it's not something I can find anywhere. So - yesterday Rob took me out to the Cold Stone Creamery - not blue but they did have bubblegum ice cream that did not contain little bubblegum bits... tasted right but still wasn't the same... but - I haven't found myself wanting it today either. Today I want iced tea. Don't ask me why. I usually hate tea. Pregnancy has made me like tea... specific tea - Constant Comment - that orange tea that my mom poured down my throat everytime I was sick...
~S
Goals:
Poetry: 8 poems revised, 2 new poems,
Short Prose: Finish One Nation, finish Paintball bits, rewrite 3 others.
Strange Angels: Chapter 18 - finish rewriting, Chapter 19 - finish rewriting.
Allright.. so I made most of my goals... didn't get new poetry written but - got a good number revised and polished - not to mention a few that are about 700 times better than what they were only a week ago. I'm quite proud of myself actually...
Accomplished:
Poetry: 6 poems revised (Dambala, Charons Blade, Crimson Stains, Born Anew, For What Follows, Gardeners Flower, )
Short Prose: Beautiful Friendship - rewritten & polished. Sent Out , Sly SAHM - rewritten & Polished. Sent Out, Blur of Tiers (possible renaming...) - Rewritten. Out for Crits, One Nation (possibly renaming...) - in process, Puppets Wish - In process (NEW) , Moronars Chosen - Rewritten due to suggestion from rejecting editor, repolished... Sent Out
Strange Angels: Chapter 16 - rewritten & finished, Chapter 17 - rewritten & finished, Chapter 18 - rewriting
That is pretty good for only a week...
~S
So: Had our Doctor's appointment yesterday and it went pretty well... I weighed in at 191 so up 4lbs in two weeks - not great but not horrible either and completely blamed on my absolute NEED for english muffins with strawberry jam... So that puts me at a total weight gain of 56 pounds. Better than the 75 I gained with my first pregnancy but SO not that great... My father-in-law and I are going to start walking as soon as my incision is healed (he's got some poundage to lose too). But - we're looking at a having a healthy baby boy so, as long as my blood pressure doesn't skyrocket, as long as I don't have another 12 pound jump, so long as I keep trying to stay on track, we should be good. From the look of the sonogram (and the stretching of my belly when he stretches...) this one is going to be as tall and as heavy as his brother was... my first was 24 1/4 inches tall and 9 pounds 8 ounces when he was born... My husband is 6'5" or so and 190 ish? (good lord I weigh more than him!!)... while under normal circumstances - I am 5'6 and 135. I am going to be dwarfed by my boys... at least I know that once they hit 14 or so, I'll never have to lift anything heavy for as long as I live. There is a bright side.
In other news: Sent out a whole slew of things today... it's like I can't resist. I didn't send anything anywhere for 5 years but I never stopped writing and now, I'm rewriting it all, polishing it up making it better (and I think I'm doing a decent job with that), and I just can't let it sit on my harddrive... I HAVE to send it out. There are times when it feels like I'm blanketing the market with my work but I'm sending things to such varied markets that I don't fear really overdoing it - my range runs from the women's magazines to fantasy magazines to horror anthologies... There are some related pubs of course - my preference is always for the speculative but I am starting to polish up my parenting essays and my bits and pieces about my mom and my grandmother. I seem to be having really excellent results with my nonfiction so, I am trying to expand my abilities there. Maybe if I can start making a living with the nonfiction, I can play with the fiction without worrying so much about trying to help out with expenses... I know I have several years ahead of me before I get where I want to be. I'm not really concerned with a timeline just yet. I know I'd like to help out at home - especially now that we'll have two kids. But, the more I write, the better I get at the process. I know I have good stories to tell - that is one thing I have NO doubt about. But, I also know I've gotten better at *telling* the stories over the last ten years so - imagine what it will be like ten years from now. If I can't make regular sales by then - MAYBE it's time to look into something else but, for now - I'm content with my puttering and my rewriting and my submitting and my rejections and my nonfiction... So - as long as that holds, what can I be but happy?
~S
This month has been absolutely riddled with rejections. Almost enough of them to make me question everything I'm doing... almost. It does help that the editors who are rejecting me are not only telling me why but telling me that overall - my work is good but... and then they tell me why. I am a girl who really is just beginning - can't ask for more! My success right now is coming in the form of poetry and nonfiction but my heart is captivated by fiction. I am now using my age as a chant, a mantra... I'm only 27... I'm only 27... I'm only 27... Just a baby in the field just yet with a lot to learn... I have time... so far it's working and I've noticed that - every time I rewrite something, it does get better. I just have to learn now *when* it's polished enough, rewritten enough to send off into the ether, into the hands of the harried men and women who are the slush-readers...
Someday I'll figure it out and, when I do, I'll be dangerous. All this potential has to go somewhere...
~S
Progress Report
Goals:
Poetry: 12 Poems revised.
6 new poems
Short Prose: Blur of Tiers - Complete rewrite.
One Nation - Finish
Strange Angels: Chapter 16 - rewritten & finished.
Chapter 17 - rewritten & finished.
For the week ending June 17th, 2006
6 poems revised, polished, ready.
3 new poems.
Breaking Traditions (nonfiction) - revised, polished, ready to be sent
First Step (nonfiction)- revised, polished, ready to be sent
Strange Angels: Chapter 15 rewritten and finished.
Strange Angels: Chapter 16 - process of rewriting has begun.
Pretty good, seeing as that was mostly just Friday and Saturday...
~S
Had a conversation last night and during the course of it, I discovered just how unorganized and unmotivated I have become with my writing so - I am going to change that. I should be doing better - getting better results by now. I should be polishing more work than I am... So, time to start keeping myself honest - which means that I'll be posting a better progress report that includes more than just submissions sent, rejections and acceptances... Maybe if I refocus - I'll start getting more in the acceptance category... On the downside, I can only do this with prose. Were I to attempt this with my poetry - it would take longer to make my lists than it would to polish a few of them.
Prose Published:
More Than Just A Card -600 -Published -To be Reprinted -Nonfiction
To my Other Mother -654 -Scheduled to be published -Nonfiction
Thanksgiving Day -391 -Published -Fiction
Fated -3070 -Published Fiction - Strange Angels
Blood on the Sands -5600 -Scheduled to be published Fiction - Strange Angels
Left Behind -738- Published -Fiction
My Redemption -1446- Published- Reprinted- Fiction
Prose In the Submission Process:
Cracking Facade 1300 In Submission Process Fiction
Hunter's Bride 295 In Submission Process Fiction
Ripper's Watch 748 In Submission Process Fiction
Switch 5300 In Submission Process Fiction
Summit 5300 In Submission Process Fiction - Strange Angels
Moronar's Vessel 3100 In Submission Process Fiction - Strange Angels
Bachelor's Downfall 286 In Submission Process Fiction
Fraudulent Princess 1550 In Submission Process Fiction
Blessed Denial 1500 In Submission Process Fiction
Eljahad's Daughters 3400 In Submission Process Fiction
Moronar's Chosen 5020 In Submission Process Fiction - Strange Angels
Four Hearts 1778 In submission Process Fiction
Damsel's Demise 1097 Ready to Go Fiction
Prose in Focus
Beautiful Friendship 560 Nonfiction Polishing
Breaking Tradition 988 Nonfiction Polishing
First Step 1700 Nonfiction Polishing
Housework on the Sly 240 Nonfiction/Humor Polishing
Forever Home 440 Nonfiction Rewriting
Insignificant 1230 Fiction Rewriting
Date Night 965 Fiction Rewriting
Jellyfish Justice 1200 Fiction Rewriting
Lost In Storage 1300 Fiction Rewriting
scared snow Angels 1200 Fiction Rewriting
blur of Teirs 4000 Fiction - SA Rewriting
One Nation 462 Fiction - SA First Writing
Sparrow Clause 4851 Fiction Rewriting
The Darkness 446 Fiction First Writing
Wastelanders 3142 Fiction Rewriting
OK. The list is longer than I thought it was... but - I've got a lot of work to do.
~S
So - I am indeed having a boy. This means several things... 1 - my MIL nightmare will not get the chance to come true. 2 - I will never have to lament the demise of the chastity belt. 3. - Life is going to be fun... boys are easy and full of energy and can ALWAYS be depended on to do exactly what they're not supposed to do about 15% of the time ;)
It's going to be an adventure.
My MIL is gravely disappointed. She must have asked 30 times in the small span of 10 minutes if the technician was really sure. Positive. Certain. could she have been completely wrong somehow? No. There is no way - we have a very visable, evident, prominent even - turtle. I can understand some private disappointment - she really wants a girl in the family. So do I but that doesn't change the fact that this baby is mine - he's what I've been given and I've seen his little face and felt him move and love him with all my heart - my disappointment lies solely in my neverwills and I can live without all of those... You would think that instead of being so openly disappointed that it makes me wonder if she's going to be able to love this child at all - she would keep at least some of it to herself. I once heard her tell my husband that *he* was supposed to be her girl. the tone wasn't playful but rather blaming when she said it. She ever says something like that to one of my boys and she won't see my boys again. Period.
I'm waiting now for her to ask me if I really MUST go ahead with the tubal ligation. Couldn't I have just one more? Couldn't I take my life in my hands again after all the complications we've had this time and last - and try one more time for a girl? She's got two other boys she can start bugging for girls now - she gets to leave me alone.
~S
So - last night we had an impromptu date night ;) I actually got to see a grown up movie! Bear in mind please I am a bit of a nerd,geek, freak as the term applies - I love sci/fi and fantasy. I love comic books in general. So, as much as I'd love to see The Omen (though perhaps better seen when I'm not pregnant), we went to see X-Men 3... My issues with the movie not withstanding and not getting into, I enjoyed the movie. There were 12 people total in the theater... Me, Rob, some quiet nerd/geek like me in the front, and a group of 2 girls and 4 boys who came in on time and a group of 3 girls who came in late. Through the previews - I don't mind the talking and the giggling... I expect it. I do not however expect to listen to giggling girls, snapping gum, the flicking on and off of flashlights, and nearly obsessive talking - INTO the damned movie.
I know what's wrong with kids now... their parents never teach them anything about respect - self respect or otherwise. that's why we've got 14 yearolds having babies because they don't respect themselves enough to say - NO. That's why we've got a generation of children who expect the world to bow at their feet and gimme gimme gimme.
I get to go to the movies MAYBE 2 times a year to see a NONkid movie. That's part of being a parent - date nights are few and far between and there are other things besides movies that we like to do. (In our house when I'm not knocked up, we have adult time on sundays when we play paintball). Anyway - so it's rare for me to see a movie in the theater. I am not about to put up with that crap when I'm trying to watch my alltime favorite superhero EVER (don't really know why... but he is) try and save the world. No teenage girl, however obnoxious or self-absorbed, has the right to get between me and my enjoyment of Wolverine... So - I complained. What choice did they give me? I'd already gave them the evil eye once or twice and it did nothing and, not wanting to cause issues vocally - I went to the people outside... And I got to enjoy the rest of my movie.
I did have some issues with the movie but I'm not getting into that now or here... and I'm done ranting now... I think
I did however have a great brainstorm while watching the movie... MAYBE, if the baby is a boy, he'll find himself named Logan ;)
~S
The Imaginary Word - my monthly suggested reading list of online poetry and prose - is up and running for June and can be found here
Thanks!
Sarah Wagner
So, last night I did what I've been putting off for the last two weeks - I sent my resignation to Lily... It's not fair to Lily or to Susan or to the rest of the Assistant Editors for me to continue when my priorities are not with Lily. With the baby coming and with my renewed focus on my own work, time is simply too limited to be so free with. I had to make some decisions. When it came down to it, it was a choice between Lily or the IW and my own writing. I had to chose my writing. The IW may yet fall to the wayside though I am trying very hard not to let that happen. I can only hope I succeed.
My great and heartfelt thanks go out to Susan, Editor of Lily, for giving me the opportunity she did. It's been a wonderful experience and I've learned a lot from it.
~S
So - had another dr's appointment - one which went MUCH better than the last one. Everything looks good so far and my dr should be back from Maternity leave soon - most assuredly before surgery. I admit - I'm getting antsy... only roughly 9 weeks to go and I feel like I've gotten nothing done yet for the baby. We're going on the 15th to a private facility for one last attempt at discerning the gender of my little tadpole... My first, he did not move like this. When he kicked, it was painful - a sharp kick to the ribs, bladder socker, and the like. This one - s/he just rolls around. Doesn't really "kick" really just rolls. It's crazy. My belly honestly looks like a waterbed that someone just got up off of. I'm enjoying this pregnancy as much as possible... I'm going to miss it. I really am. But - I just can't see taking the risk of having one more - even if I'd really love to. Of course, I think I'd spend my whole life pregnant if I could - as much as I complain, as much as I whine, there is such a sense of well-being that comes with pregnancy. I'm probably healthier now than I have been since I was 13 years old. How crazy is that... I'm hoping to keep it that way too.
~S